I wanted to write a post about what I consider to be two of
the most important attributes for FF (and life success/fulfillment in general,
for that matter)... And just to keep you guessing, it doesn’t stand for Asset
Alocation this time!
Attitude
You’ve probably heard the saying “Your attitude determines
your altitude”. I’m a big believer in this, but it wasn’t always the case. In
my school days and early career I was quite the opposite actually. I thought it
was all about brains, IQ over EQ. You need a qualification to be able to
practice, etc. Over time and with experience, I’ve slowly learnt that this is
not the case. Pretty well anyone can do anything in this world, if they set
their mind to it and persist through thick and thin. I honestly believe this
and it’s a very positive and empowering approach to take towards life. When I
reflect back on friends from school and how people have progressed in life, I
don’t see much correlation at all between grades and “success”.
So what kind of attitude should one take ? First and
foremost, it’s important to be Positive. For some people this comes naturally.
For others, it really requires effort. But there is definitely value in seeing
the glass half full. Lean forward. If in doubt, say “yes” and give it a go.
Remember those reflections from people in the final days of their life. People
rarely regret the things they’ve done, but they do regret the things left
unsaid and untried.
In addition to positivity, let’s add Activity. As Nike put
it so well, Just do it! Your attitude should be biased towards taking action.
Obviously sometimes a bit of planning and pre-thought is useful, but don’t
overdo it and get into motion as soon as possible. Be flexible, experiment and
use trial and error.
The final piece of attitude I would add is Curiousity. Try
to remember what it was like when you were a kid, and learning everything. Ask
lots of questions, inquire, open your eyes and explore. If you have young kids,
try to be more like them. And tell them not to be in such a hurry to be more
like you !
Since acronyms are useful to remember, let’s call it a
PACitude !
Now for the second of the A’s....
Accountability
During my working life I recall being taught the difference
between responsibility and accountability. Response – able, literally, means
you are able to respond. If someone asks you to make your bed in the morning,
then it’s reasonable to assume this is within your power to respond. However,
if someone asks you to fix the country’s budget deficit and return it to a
surplus, then unless you happen to be Joe Hockey, you would not really have the
power to meet such a request. Accountability is a similar concept, the ability
to be held to account. Responsibility is a prerequisite to accountability. You
can’t be held accountable for something you are not responsible for. So don’t
try and blame me for the country’s budget problems.
Anyway, enough of semantics, the point i’m making here is
you need to have an attitude of accountability. It doesn’t matter too much if
you prefer the word responsibility, or “ownership” is a good word to use also.
You are the captain of your ship. Don’t blame the wind or the weather, you have
to steer the course you want to travel, no matter what else is going on around
you.
Here’s a bit of a confession coming up, one of the best
self-help books I’ve read is called Life Strategies and it’s by Dr Phil. Yes
that’s right Dr Phil..... His afternoon tv show can make me cringe at times,
but I found this book really useful. One of his key things is responsibility
and he won’t tolerate a victim mentality. No matter what kind of setback or
trauma you have faced, he holds you accountable for how you respond to it. Victor
Frankl is another excellent reference for this. It was a huge learning for me.
You can adjust the way you feel. Start to become more aware of the dialogue
inside your head. If you can influence your thoughts, it affects the way you
feel and the actions you take. Think positive thoughts about the life you dream
for, and you will feel better and orientate your behaviour towards achieving
these goals. If you think negative thoughts about things that have gone wrong,
or people who annoy you, then you just end up feeling worse and behaving
accordingly.
A final aspect of accountability is living a life of intent.
I’m reminded of Good Will Hunting. The scene where Robin Williams holds Matt
Damon up and shouts at him “What do you wanna do ?”. It’s a very primal and
basic yet confronting question, what do you really want to do with your life ?
Sadly, most people don’t even give it any thought. Many of us are just drifting
along. Living the life we feel we are supposed to lead. Following what our
parents or friends are doing. Accumulating stuff to try and make ourselves
happy.
In the world of FF, we talk about active vs passive in a few
different contexts. There’s active vs passive income, in which case passive is
better (you are FF when your passive income finally gets big enough to cover
your living costs). There’s active vs passive investing, again I would say
passive is better, but that’s a matter for debate. To add a third context,
there is accountability for all the decisions, big and small, that you make in
the course of your life. Do you actively decide for yourself, using your own
brain, or do you passive go along with what is suggested or the way things
always were ? In this third arena, it’s very important to be active, not
passive. Even if you decide to do nothing, decide it actively, not because you
were too lazy or too scared to decide. Live your life with intent, don’t just
drift along like seaweed.
Summary
This is a philosophical post about life in general and my
suggestion that Attitude and Accountability are two key things to focus on.
Adopt a Positive, Active and Curious - PACitude - and be accountable for all
aspects of your life, no matter what circumstances you find yourself in. These
two things are interlinked of course. You are accountable for your attitude,
and you should adopt an attitude of accountability.
All this is very theoretical. You might be wondering, in the
real world, is FFA some kind of zen Buddha who practices what he preaches ?
Most of the time, honestly, nope. I’m only human and a very fallible one at
that. But in my better moments and when I have the rare chance to pause and
reflect, this is what I try and focus on. And I feel it helps me to be a better
person when I do so... Why not give it a try and see if it works for you ?
I'm going to try and track down that Dr Phil book. Since discovering the idea of FI I have struggled to keep a postive frame of mind at work. I so want to be at home raising my son. I need to work our some way to turn this around and Dr Phil could be just the ticket. Cheers!
ReplyDeleteYeah I struggled with that a bit too. Although towards the end I kind of cherished work and tried to make the most of it, since I knew it was going to be over soon! This is a cliché but it's important to be happy today and live in the moment. You don't want to sacrifice everything for future FI bliss... it could be a let down. And working hours are such a large chunk of life, you really want to be getting some enjoyment/satisfaction out of it one way or other. Hope the book helps :)
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